"Jerry don't know 'bout Commerce Circle"

[Jim Ratto]

Bates asked for a Steve Fuss story.
Steve was a guy old enough to buy Sheep and I beer when we weren't of age. Sheep and I were both working at Buggy House slaving at the counter 9-6 Mon thru Sat. We met Steve there....he was a regular. He bought some stuff now and again, and lived nearby Sheep and I, just over the hill. At one point he built a decent 1914, and considering he built it on a Saturday night it ran hard, and gave him no problems. I sold him the 44IDFs off my 2 liter when I got my 48's. The motor went into Steve's '74 Super Bug, to replace the motor his girlfriend siezed up (#1 bearing, end play shims and flywheel were welded into one piece when I saw the damage....oh BTW his girlfriend was named after a correctional facility he did time in). Anyway, the car ran good and got Steve around and into plenty of trouble. While Steve didn't always use the best judgment he was a capable backyard mechanic, actually better than that. He was innovative. If Steve thought up some crackpot idea to either show off in his Bug or make it "faster" he'd  go to the ends of the earth to make it reality. Which leads up to Commerce Circle.
So Steve worked at a rental yard that rented and serviced heavy equipment. One night he phones up Sheep and me @ BH just before closing, and in his trademark Ozark/Buck Owens/Elvis accent, drawls..."Hey...it's me Steve...what you guys up to tonight?" "Nuthin'" I replied...."probably just watching movies at Frank's." So Steve ups the ante....."whydontcha boys come by my place and check out what I did to my Bug?" Well, there was always an adventure behind whatever this guy did to his Bug....so despite fearing being arrested or injured, we couldn't resist. So later that night, we headed over to Steve's in my '70 Bus, nicknamed The Scab. We pull up and Steve's leaning against his Bug, Coors Light in his hand...."What took you guys, my ass been waitin' all night to show ya this" So he opens the driver's door and the first thing I notice is the shiny, gold brake lines running everywhere down near the pedals. Just in front of the seat was some type of hydraulic cylinder, with about 6 hard lines screwed into it. Sprouting out from the cylinder was a lever, about 18" tall and right centered in front of the driver's seat cushion. Whoever drove the car from now on had to straddle this lever. Frank (SheeP) started cracking up and asked Steve, "Dude, what the F**K is THAT?"
To which Steve replied "That's my line lock!" He built this staging brake out of some brake cylinder off a To#¤ta forklift. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. But....knowing Steve was behind it, it made perfect sense.
So we all agreed it was time to try this thing out. We went up to grocery store and bought about $40 worth of Clorox. We were packed into the Bug surrounded by gallons of Clorox bleach driving around in a loud Bug with a nutcase at the wheel in Pleasanton, CA at night. What could get us in jail faster? Anyway, we cruised over to the industrial part of town and Steve flooded the street (Commerce Cirlce) with bleach, then pulled his Bug into the flood. We saw him screwing around with the lever inside, then he laid on the gas pedal and the motor sounded like it was going to let go.....had to have been 7000rpm or more....valve float city. Next thing he's got the rear tires ablaze. Soon the entire street is shrouded in tire smoke. Frank and I are dying of laughter watching this crazy kook destroying his car trying to show off for us. It was too much....
So a few weeks later, Steve's at the Buggy House counter....and Frank and I are both busy with other customers....and our boss, Jerry walks up front. Out of nowhere, Steve blurts out...."Hey Jerry, whaddya get for a Scat case?" Jerry just glared at him and stormed off, like usual. Steve stood there, smug and unphased by Jerry's indifference....."Guess Jerry don't know 'bout Commerce Cirlce"

[Jim Ratto]

sheep do you have any more S. Fuss stories you want to share? Wedding ring in the gas tank? The trip to Susanville? The constant phone calls to get him out of jail?
Guns n gals?

[John Rayburn]

I want to hear the jail phone calls, and the wedding ring in the gas tank stories!

[danny gabbard]

another great story jim ! HOWS that baby doing! had much sleep latlely?

[Jim Ratto]

another great story jim ! HOWS that baby doing! had much sleep latlely?

thanks Danny...  how come VW people have the most colorful lives?
Baby is good, and geting a little more sleep, I think he's getting the hang of it.

I want to hear the jail phone calls, and the wedding ring in the gas tank stories!

John, well,  the jail phone calls.... back in 1992 or 1993 I was dating a girl that lived about 4hr from me (I lived at my parents' house still in Livermore CA), and on weekends I'd drive up to near Tahoe to see her, and then drive back to Bay Area Sunday night/Monday morning, usually arriving back home by 2 or 3am, and then get up to go to Buggy House @ 7am. yawn.
One night once I got home, got a few mnutes of sleep and the phone rings...it was 3:30am....I hear my mom answer phone, then comes to my room, irritated and says "it's for you"
On the line is this guy, Steve.... "Hey Jim"...(in drunken slur)...."you gotta (hiccup) come bust my ass outta jail" I said "call Sheep. I'm sleeping"

more later

[Rennsurfer]

On the line is this guy, Steve.... "Hey Jim"...(in drunken slur)...."you gotta (hiccup) come bust my ass outta jail" I said "call Sheep. I'm sleeping"

That's got signature tag written all over it. You should sell it, Jim. CLASSIC.

[Jim Ratto]

there was the howe brew exhaust system too

[Jim Ratto]

or the night he came and tapped on my bedroom window @ 1:30am on a worknight, and asked me

"you ever done acid?"

[John Rayburn]

If that was his one phone call, how could he call Sheep? Or was Sheep in jail with him?

[Jim Ratto]

If that was his one phone call, how could he call Sheep? Or was Sheep in jail with him?

not my problem

[John Rayburn]

What about the wedding ring?

[Jim Ratto]

...or the time he pulled up to my parents' house in his truck, bounced front wheel off the curb, opens door and basically falls out of the truck... stumbles up to my dad and I in our driveway with a commuter mug...  and tells my dad "get a whiff of this......peppermint schnapps..."

[Jim Ratto]

What about the wedding ring?

it was an engagement ring for his fiancee. She ran off with somebody else or something and he had not given here the ring yet... so he got mad and "fed" it to his Bug... dumped the ring down the filler.

[John Rayburn]

And the home brew exhaust?

[Jim Ratto]

And the home brew exhaust?

 

ok....

he had the 1914 in his car with street/heater type header and dual can mufflers for a while, then we got wind he was building his own muffler setup. One day he comes into BH, barges in front of line to the parts counter, and slaps a polaroid down on counter and says "check that shit out"

The engine was out of car and on a wodd box and there were pipes running over, under, in front of, behind, around, through.... it looked like miles and miles of tubing or like that screen-saver thing that makes endless pips on your computer monitor...
So I said "wow that's a cool engine stand you built"

Man did he get mad.... "no you dumbass....look at them mufflers!!"

[John Rayburn]

Did it run?

[Jim Ratto]

Did it run?

yeah until he went off a cliff one night, into a creek with the car (drunk).
he lived but car was a goner.

We stopped hanging out with him after that. Plus we were 21.

[John Rayburn]

Any pictures of the car in the ditch ?

[Jim Ratto]

Any pictures of the car in the ditch ?

I could draw you one from memory, complete with bent Scat Dragfast shifter and knee dents under dash

[John Rayburn]

I'd love to see that !

[jpperf]

Hey Jim, Is this the guy you set me up to race against off of Depot Rd in Hayward that night???  I thought you were pulling me leg!  Now that's a story for the books.  "Better make it fifty".  You can tell the story if you want to, it is pretty classic.  All I remember is that I beat him using 1st and 2nd with a dead battery, then it looked like I was taking his puppy when he handed over the money.  The kicker was when the loss wasn't what he was focused on, but rather when he said "alls I know is that his wheels wernt off the ground like mines were".

Good times!

JP

[John Rayburn]

More!

[Jim Ratto]

Hey Jim, Is this the guy you set me up to race against off of Depot Rd in Hayward that night???  I thought you were pulling me leg!  Now that's a story for the books.  "Better make it fifty".  You can tell the story if you want to, it is pretty classic.  All I remember is that I beat him using 1st and 2nd with a dead battery, then it looked like I was taking his puppy when he handed over the money.  The kicker was when the loss wasn't what he was focused on, but rather when he said "alls I know is that his wheels wernt off the ground like mines were".

Good times!

JP

Holy cow, yes I had forgotten all about that night. Man am I getting old. So this guy Steve was all cocky and had a strut to his walk after toddling along in his 1914 so Sheep and I set up a race for him in industrial part of Hayward. I think we told him about the race on a Monday and it was to take place on that Friday night and it seemed like this guy was going to melt the phone @ BH calling about every 5 min for no reason. Anyway, we told Steve that his opponent had a GEX 1835, when in reality it was a big ol 2276 with Engle FK89 and race gas and big heads and drag trans... right Jason? Is my memory right? It was when your car still looked like a street car with 914 mags, right? Anyway, we get out there that night and man was Steve sure of himself.... the race was orig for $25 (can you imagine how funny that is!!?) and since Steve was so high and mighty, he upped the ante... in his Buck Owens-meets-state-prison accent: "make it fifty"
It wasn't even a race. He shoulda known something was up when he saw slicks on Jason's car. I think by 60' it was all over. Poor Steve. Thing is, even this didn't deter him. He still paraded around like a peacock (and still believed he was beat by a GEX motor).


Should I even mention our weekend long road trip with him to Susanville CA? 

[sheep]

Hey Jim, Is this the guy you set me up to race against off of Depot Rd in Hayward that night???  I thought you were pulling me leg!  Now that's a story for the books.  "Better make it fifty".  You can tell the story if you want to, it is pretty classic.  All I remember is that I beat him using 1st and 2nd with a dead battery, then it looked like I was taking his puppy when he handed over the money.  The kicker was when the loss wasn't what he was focused on, but rather when he said "alls I know is that his wheels wernt off the ground like mines were".

Good times!

JP

Holy cow, yes I had forgotten all about that night. Man am I getting old. So this guy Steve was all cocky and had a strut to his walk after toddling along in his 1914 so Sheep and I set up a race for him in industrial part of Hayward. I think we told him about the race on a Monday and it was to take place on that Friday night and it seemed like this guy was going to melt the phone @ BH calling about every 5 min for no reason. Anyway, we told Steve that his opponent had a GEX 1835, when in reality it was a big ol 2276 with Engle FK89 and race gas and big heads and drag trans... right Jason? Is my memory right? It was when your car still looked like a street car with 914 mags, right? Anyway, we get out there that night and man was Steve sure of himself.... the race was orig for $25 (can you imagine how funny that is!!?) and since Steve was so high and mighty, he upped the ante... in his Buck Owens-meets-state-prison accent: "make it fifty"
It wasn't even a race. He shoulda known something was up when he saw slicks on Jason's car. I think by 60' it was all over. Poor Steve. Thing is, even this didn't deter him. He still paraded around like a peacock (and still believed he was beat by a GEX motor).


Should I even mention our weekend long road trip with him to Susanville CA? 

Oh shit Jim you have to. If you forget something I will jar your memory!!!!!

[Jim Ratto]

Hey Jim, Is this the guy you set me up to race against off of Depot Rd in Hayward that night???  I thought you were pulling me leg!  Now that's a story for the books.  "Better make it fifty".  You can tell the story if you want to, it is pretty classic.  All I remember is that I beat him using 1st and 2nd with a dead battery, then it looked like I was taking his puppy when he handed over the money.  The kicker was when the loss wasn't what he was focused on, but rather when he said "alls I know is that his wheels wernt off the ground like mines were".

Good times!

JP

Holy cow, yes I had forgotten all about that night. Man am I getting old. So this guy Steve was all cocky and had a strut to his walk after toddling along in his 1914 so Sheep and I set up a race for him in industrial part of Hayward. I think we told him about the race on a Monday and it was to take place on that Friday night and it seemed like this guy was going to melt the phone @ BH calling about every 5 min for no reason. Anyway, we told Steve that his opponent had a GEX 1835, when in reality it was a big ol 2276 with Engle FK89 and race gas and big heads and drag trans... right Jason? Is my memory right? It was when your car still looked like a street car with 914 mags, right? Anyway, we get out there that night and man was Steve sure of himself.... the race was orig for $25 (can you imagine how funny that is!!?) and since Steve was so high and mighty, he upped the ante... in his Buck Owens-meets-state-prison accent: "make it fifty"
It wasn't even a race. He shoulda known something was up when he saw slicks on Jason's car. I think by 60' it was all over. Poor Steve. Thing is, even this didn't deter him. He still paraded around like a peacock (and still believed he was beat by a GEX motor).


Should I even mention our weekend long road trip with him to Susanville CA? 

Oh shit Jim you have to. If you forget something I will jar your memory!!!!!

If I remember correctly, there were no plans that night, only to have him buy us a twelver because we were only 20? Typical Saturday night out in my Bus, stopped by his place for a favor... somehow somebody gave him the idea of going on a road trip in his Bug, next thing I know we're going up I-5 north of Sacramento, him cracking cans of Bud open as he drove, slurring his speech (typical), weaving in and out of lanes (typical) and approaching triple digits (typical). Do you recall him asking you to fish that lost beer can from under his seat as we drove? And him asking us "you guys like rock n roll? I got "Heart" on cassette tape in the glovebox.." The stop in Red Bluff at that motel is a smokey memory...  wtf were we laughing at so hard? Somebody's head coming off on the TV?
The drive home I remember coming back thru the Sierra on SR 49 south of Downieville down a long grade, and of course Steve had his foot wooded in the thing, and that slower car pulled in front of us. I thought for sure it was over for us.... we came about .050" from hitting that car. We swore after that trip there would be no more roadtrips with him. 


abd then there was Kenny Butler

"what are all them gauges fer?"