The Cal-look Lounge

...that stuck with you over the years. Maybe folklore, an urban legend, or just good, sound (however off the wall it might be...) advice.

I've got a list from my ex-boss, Jerry.

I am the crusty old crotchety guy

I remember a bit of advice i had ages ago when I got my first bug from a local VW specialist long since gone for not forgeting the order you took the ignition leads off a dizzy .
When you put them back on do it anti clockwise , i.e. 1234 from the notch for number one  ;)
That way you would always have the right firing order  ::)
Suppose i still do it now without thinking about it  ::)

a 911 lump will bolt right in  ;D



 ::) :-[

the importance of 'reading colors' of internals of motor, and not just the spark plugs....

"Don't drive it on the freeway"

 ;)

"The VW was designed by Hitler!"  ???

"Raise up the back of your stupid car and you'll stop breaking axles, and you'll stop making more work for me."  -the late Mike Collins

99% of carburetor problems are ignition... I say this to myself when I am trying to diagnose things & it usually holds true.

48 IDAs are way too big for a stupid Volkswagen engine.

Mike should have authored a book.

"Now why do you want to go and do a stupid thing like that?"

Mike saved me plenty of t-m-f with that question countless times. I think I still hear him asking me that sometimes.  8)

"Why in the world did you fit solid mounts on a street car?"

When balancing pistons- if you have one light one, instead of taking weight off the other 3, just stick the appropriate weight piece of fuel hose inside the wrist pin of the light one. It'll just bounce around, wont hurt a thing! :D

Does the oil pressure light come on when you put your foot on the clutch after you have been driving for a while? its f*%ked then and time for a line bore.

do you know my ex boss?  ;D

"righty tighty, lefty loosey" and "No, your military right"

--louis

I once had a 4046 Bugpack spring get loose out of a Rimac @ Buggy House.

Jerry showed me how to use a razor blade, tucked in between retainer and spring (in Rimac) as a "pointer" to indicate spring height on a machinists scale...

Well I was checking lb at full lift (86C) and that spring/retainer/razor blade walked right out of the Rimac. KAPOW either the srping or the retainer clocked me right in the nose. I saw stars for about 45 min and bled like a son of a bitch. Razor blade luckily flew by my face and landed on his align bore bench about 15' behind me.

His first aid?
"What the F_CK did you do NOW? Jes_s Jumped Up Ch__st! You didn't break my RIMAC did you, goddammit? Get a Budweiser outta the fridge and get it on your nose, you'll be fine!"

And I was.

How fast can you afford?

That's a good one!

How about   "...It will wear in"

 "Don't baby the damn thing, drive it hard and break it in fast"

 ;)

New enigine break-in process:

Break it in fast... It'll last!

Break it in slow... It'll Blow!!

My father in law... Raced bracket races at OCIR for years in just about every car he owned!

Buy the best and cry once ...  ;)

"That tin can is suicide on wheels"

I was once told about the "Nid" gauge. If you don't have access to a torque wrench, use a breaker bar and really swing on it, the involuntary gasp you give sounds like the word "nid" (think Jack Nicholson in Easy Rider). Some jobs (rocker gear to cylinder heads) are one nid, flywheels and rear hubs are three or four nid... :o

"Buy once, cry once" can't remember who that was  ::)

getting rear (adj) torsions set using a floor jack and a 36mm socket

Chrome won't get you home ;D

How fast you wanna go?! This sh&t costs money you know!

In a similar fashion: "fast, reliable, cheap. Pick any two from three."

Lubrication is the secret of life.



Thanks, Dad. I'm off to go throw up now.

  "Break it in like you want it to run"

  My Daddy.

"after cleaning up the used parts well.. assemble it, and the crankcase sweats (leaks oil haha)  when its right"



some mechanic told me back in college (27yrs old now )   LOL!