The Cal-look Lounge

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
 

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah  night before last.
 
 
 I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

 First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

 I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

 After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire                                  episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

 I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

 I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp                                  mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

 Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

 The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

  ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex

For the, Epic Fail category!

Class ;D

Great story!! :D ;D

But, for all you non gunners without CCW's, please be advised. Carrying a concealed firearm is serious business, and it's no fun carrying a four
pound Colt clone. My carry weapon is a Glock 27, it's only half the weight but it comes with the identical responsibility as the Kimber. I love a
great story with a happy ending, especially one where I didn't have to brandish a firearm.



 

I've got a Glock 23c .40 SW . Very nice pistol.

A nice piece indeed!  But I don't think I'll post anymore comments on this topic, least someone object
and I hurt their feelings. (Unless I can come up with a Cal Look Colt) ;D

It's certainly different over here in Europe. We are so politically correct here in Nordic/Scandinavia that certain notifications are provided for the crooks in their native languages like the attached photo from well-off area in Stockholm, Sweden shows. Sort of sick but true. (With the English text I doubt that they're expecting "visitors" from US/UK/Canada/Australia etc  ;D)

Funniest thing I've read in ages ;D
Cheers,
Kev