Top 10 Country Western Songs

[Sarge]

 10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine

   9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few

   8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

   7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'

   6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win

   5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here

   4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him

   3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger

   2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer


   And the Number One Country & Western song is...

   1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day

[Neil Davies]

There is a C&W band called Howlin Willie C*nt (really! I've got their album, "World Of Filth"!) who also have some genius song titles:

"Your Heart Belongs To Jesus But Your Ass Belongs To Me"
"Say It With Herpes"
"Homosexual Punchbag In A Wheelchair"
"I'd Rather Have A Dick In My Ass Than Have You In My Heart"
"C*nts On Roads" (a cover of Country Roads about road rage!)
And the most subtle reworking of Glen Campbell's Witchita Lineman - "Columbian Lineman", about drug deals gone bad!

It's so offensive, on so many levels that it just happens to be one of the best albums I've ever bought!